Naming a child is a special occasion. After all, you really only get one shot at it. Even if your child changes their name later on in life, the name that they give them is something that can either be a source of cuteness or a source for ridicule. Every child gets picked on in school, but some celebrities really need to think about this before they give their children such crazy names.
A child can outgrow a name or develop a nickname, but there are some classic names in Hollywood that really make you go WTF — and not just because of the spellings, but they’re names that just don’t really make sense. Try having your kid walk up to one of those cutesy name keychain stands and get a keychain with their name on it. They won’t be able to do that.
1. Aviana Olea (Amy Adams & Darren Le Gallo’s Daughter)
This name makes us think about birds. Now, Amy Adams is very attractive, and we like her because she’s always sounded so intelligent. But this name…isn’t very intelligent to us. Aviana makes us think about birds and planes, and Olea… well… Ole! Bring on the bulls!
2. Max Liron (Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman’s son)
Max Liron sounds …strangely technological. Like Liron is a product that we need to have. Long lasting iron? Get your “liron” kids! You want to grow strong, don’t you?
Ah, actors and musicians seem to stretch their creative muscles a little too far. Christina was so darling pregnant, but the truth is that she really could have picked a better name for their son. At least it’s just the middle name that’s crazy — there’s nothing wrong with a young boy named Max.
3. Piper Manu (Gillian Anderson & Clyde Klotz’s daughter)
Piper? Piper Manu, please come to the office! Piper, please come to the office! I mean, the jokes write themselves. Gillian Anderson must have really been lost in the “X-Files” if she thought this was a good name for her child. It’s just a matter of really thinking about things in a different way, we guess.
4. Camera (Arthur Ashe & Jeanne Moutoussamy Ashe’s daughter)
Arthur Ashe is a tennis player, but that’s not why he’s getting discussed in this little guide. He and his wife named their daughter Camera. Now, since Ashe is deceased, it’s a little bad to make fun of his choice to name his child after her mother’s profession.
But really, since this is Crazy & Funny time, let’s just focus on the child’s name. There’s no way that the little girl (an adult today) will be able to smile and really admit that her name is Camera Ashe. Just being honest here. Could you do it? We didn’t think so.
5. Seven Sirius (Erykah Badu & Andre 3000’s son)
We like Sirius satellite radio as much as the next person does, but we really don’t want to name our child after the service! Then again, this is the son of Erykah Badu and Andre 3000, two creative musicians that seem to take everything else to extremes. Seven Sirius is just a weird name on its own.
6. Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn & Emily Jillette’s daughter)
You know, when we really step back and think about it — Moxie really isn’t that bad of a name for a little girl. However, when you add in the CrimeFighter…it gets a little weird.
Now, this is a child that was born to Penn Jillette and his wife Emily when they were 50 and 39, respectively. You can tell that they were definitely shocked that they could have a child so late in life, and maybe this is just to make the event more memorable.
When asked about his daughter’s strange middle name, Penn Jillette deadpanned that at least when she gets pulled over by a cop, she can say that they’re on the same side — her middle name is CrimeFighter, after all.
We almost wonder how many tickets that little girl is actually going to get just because police officers scan her plates and see her full name pop up. We’re just being honest.
7. Egypt (Alicia Keys & Swizz Beats’ son)
We saved the craziest name for last, though: you have to admit that Egypt is an odd name for a little boy. There is so much in the name of Egypt that is politically charged — why would you name a child that? Alicia Keys is a sweet girl with a rough edge from New York, but we didn’t really think that she would actually be called extreme.
Yep, these are some pretty crazy baby names for children. Some of them are downright insane, but the parents like them. We could have expanded this list out further, but as always — we wanted to hear from you. What name is your favorite? What name sounds the craziest? Sound off in the comments, please!